Last weekend, the Captain and I had dinner with our dear friends Janet and June. I say "our friends," but I only married into the friendship. The Captain's relationship with the twins predates ours by eight years. At this point (twenty-eight years in) I feel like I'm an equal partner because I could probably recount their childhood hijinks like I was in cahoots. But every so often I'm reminded they have a whole history that doesn't include me.
It does, however, feature Captain America, Superman, Batman, the Flash, and a whole slew of superheroes from universes I didn't even know existed. To this day I can't tell you the difference between the Marvel and D.C. characters. I mean, I sat through the 3D version of "The First Avenger" because I love my Captain and Chris Evans is easy on the eyes, but I'm never going to have a meaningful discussion about how "Man of Steel" broke Superman's cardinal rule. (He never kills anyone. But now that I think about it, maybe he doesn't kill humans, which would make it okay to kill aliens. But they're really his race so that wouldn't work either. That's all I've got.)
The twins can wax poetic on all things Comic-Con. I lack this gene, as was apparent during the conversation bandied about the table the other night.
June: "Okay, three wishes. What do you ask the genie?"
Captain: "I want Flash's super-speed."
Janet: "That would be awesome if you could have his metabolism, too."
Captain: "Right? I could eat this whole meal in like three seconds, travel around the world and come back and eat it all over again."
Janet: "It must take a tremendous amount of energy to be that fast. You must have to eat all the time."
June: "How long does it take him to circumnavigate the Earth?"
Captain: "About a second."
June and Janet: "No. That can't be true."
All three smartphones access Safari.
Janet: "One-tenth of a second."
Captain (smugly): "See?"
Me: "Three wishes? I don't know, I think I'd ask for my children to not have any disabilities, that there be no poverty in the world..."
Captain: "Well, sure. But with the third wish, it would definitely be super-speed. Hey, speaking of genies, did you guys see that picture of Barbara Eden? She's, like, 80 and she wore the costume again for a charity event."
Accesses picture on the smartphone. Passes it around the table.
June: "That is not the same costume, but she does look great. You know what never made sense to me? Jeannie and Major Nelson never got together."
Captain: "In real life or on the show? Because I'm pretty sure Larry Hagman tried to get with Barbara Eden."
Janet: "I never saw the appeal in Jeannie."
Captain: "That's because you weren't a teenage boy."
Janet: "No, she just wasn't very smart. I much preferred Samantha Stevens."
June: "Wouldn't it be great to pop in and out of people's houses? I would visit you guys every day!"
Captain: "Right now I have to visit the restroom. Okay, I'm back!"
June: "That super-speed is amazing!"
It's a blessing to have friends that stay with you your whole life--through the good, the bad, and all the Star Wars films. And I, who has no recollection whatsoever of Antman, am especially grateful the Captain still has his homegirls in his life. In the immortal, altered words of Jerry Maguire, "They complete him."
June and Janet are more than Wonder Twins. They're Wonder Women.
I know nothing about Super Heroes, except that my brother had a Captain America poster on his wall. I had John Travolta, from the Kotter days.
ReplyDeleteHere was how all the rest of it worked out, for me:
I lived in Jeannie's bottle, which was inside of Morticia Addams' house (because I dressed like her), which was on Gilligan's Island. But I had the powers of Samantha Stevens (I'm a witch, afterall).
All four of you are lucky, or rather, fortunate. Also, lovely, exactly as you are.
Ayyyyyy....I loved the Sweathogs! It's interesting now to look at the show and think, "Would anyone who looks like Gabe Kaplan get on television today?" I think that's fodder for another dinner.
DeleteI wish you could use your witch powers like Samantha and wiggle your nose onto the east coast!
That is so cool. I am with you, though. I don't know super-heroes or Star Wars or Star Trek or any of those things.
ReplyDeleteNow ask me anything about Johnny Depp movies...
See? You have your niche of knowledge! I'm more of a "know a little about a lot" shallow learner. In that sense I'm into geek culture in a broad way, but just never into the superheroes like the Captain.
DeleteWonderful! Thank you! And I appreciate that you didn't tell the world you've heard a variation of the super/magic powers conversation approximately 400 times. Although, to be fair, it is a rich topic with limitless nuance and possibility.
ReplyDeleteThis is reciprocal, by the way. I would be sunk if I had to rely on The Captain to talk about Eric and Tami Taylor, Welcome to Temptation, acceptable word choice for sex in the romance genre, or the long list of other topics that are in your wheelhouse and absent from his. He became a lot more interesting the day he met you and added a much-needed dimension to our lifetime of conversation.
As Julie said so perfectly, we are very fortunate.
I know! How could he not adore Friday Night Lights? I used to watch it ALONE, and he yet he is still dumbfounded if I can't recall the events from that Star Trek movie with the whales. Who can keep it all straight?
DeleteFor the record, the real answer is that you take Samantha's powers from Bewitched. She is so powerful that you end up with most super powers anyway. As long as you manage to stay on the right side of the Witches Council!
ReplyDeleteGood to know!
DeleteNo disrespect to the Captain and the Twins (a superhero trio or perhaps a 70s pop group), but that conversation sounds remarkably like one my teenage boys would have.
ReplyDeleteI am a tiny bit geeky (or is that nerdy) and know about things star treky and star warsy. But my comic knowledge comes soley from TBBT.
My teenage boys don't have that same conversation, but they do have concrete notions about superheroes and their behavior. It's funny, because the Captain has a fully formed opinion about most topics and so I guess they are like him in that way. Perhaps they'll take over for me at future dinner tables.
Deleteand to think some wives wouldn't allow this friendship, cause they'd feel threatened. We all need some Jerry Maguire Line friends.
ReplyDeleteOh no, I'm never threatened or even jealous. I am a very relaxed wife who doesn't need to be all things--I'm awesome enough just the way I am!
DeleteLove this post! I'm not into Sci Fi at all and get all the superheroes mixed up, but I enjoyed the dialogue between the three friends. : )
ReplyDeleteIt's always fun when the three of them get together. Like listening to a master class on something you don't understand, but the instructor is so well-versed you don't care!
DeleteOkay, the whole Superman murder thing is moot, because Superman totally threw Zod OFF A CLIFF at the end of Superman II when he KNEW he still had powers and Zod and crew did not, which doesn't jive with this whole non-violent persona everyone seems to have latched onto. He also sat back while Lois punched Ursa off the same cliff, then they smiled at each other and made out.
ReplyDeleteDid he need to be made more edgy? Probably not. But that non-killer thing doesn't hold water. Just sayin'.
Oh, also, you and the Captain have cool friends. :)
Haha! Thanks!
DeleteYou are right, of course. It's not unprecedented, in the movies or the comics. But it is rare. And therefore it needs to be earned. I don't think they earned it. But we'll have to make a plan to discuss it sometime. It's a fun topic. ;-)
Of course, I don't remember any of this even though I'm certain I saw the movie. I like the part where they made out, though...
DeleteMegan - This is so sweet! Is it our birthday present?
ReplyDeleteIt is very difficult to imagine our friendship with the Captain without you. I guess that is because it is hard to imagine him that way either. I am glad it is a moot point and you two come as a package deal. You and the boys are the best gifts The Captain ever gave us, with the possible exception of Supertramp, Breakfast in America.
Kate - no offense at all. When my good friend's teenage stepsons stayed at my apartment a few years ago with their father, they couln't wait to meet me. They told her they figured I must be very cool as I own every episode of the animated Superman and Justice League TV shows and all of the Batman animated movies. I have a big fan base among teenage boys. At least somebody kind of thinks I am cool.
Delia - when we finally get to meet I will deliver my dissertation on why that ending was wrong for that particular movie. But for now I will spare us all and agree that there are some situations when that would have been in character.
No need. I think the whole film was wrong for the character and the ending was forced. I was only noting that it was hardly unprecedented since it was the second time Superman killed Zod.
DeleteJune: Well, it was a day late, but I did intend for it to be your present! And I consider these conversations the gift that keeps on giving, no matter how many times I hear them!
DeleteI love conversations, and friends, like that. Didn't Jeannie and Major Nelson get married at some point?
ReplyDeleteYes, I think they did, but I don't think they ever did anything really "physical" which would be more in keeping with the time. I'm sure they had separate beds.
DeleteYeah, she probably stayed in her bottle. Which, now that I think about it, sounds like kind of a nice way to get away for a bit.
DeleteThis is why I loved the Gilmore Girls. Lots of conversations that needed little explanation to the ones involved all the while imparting vast amounts of important knowledge in the most efficient use of words. Yay, friends!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm quite seriously obsessed with Royals. As in sent it to Carrie so she HAD to listen to it and now I play it over and over and over and over.....I can't believe the girl is only 15 (maybe 16)!
Oh, I really miss the Gilmore Girls. I think maybe I'll start watching it again from the beginning soon...
DeleteWhat's Royals?
I really enjoyed Gilmore Girls, but I think my tolerance for "quirky" towns has hit a wall. It's probably good Bunheads got cancelled. Nah, not really.
Delete"Royals" is the name of the song in the sidebar. And it's fairly awesome!