OK, You--Go!

I was standing in the kitchen last night when my phone buzzed with a text message from Two.

 "Come downstairs."

Yes, my children routinely task entire satellites in lieu of walking upstairs to talk with me. I used to yell at them, but then I realized I'm spending about $200.00 a month on our cellphones, so I own part of that satellite.

I worried about the terse nature of Two's communique. Was he injured, and could only crawl to his phone to bravely tap a plea on his touchscreen? Worse, was there a giant cave cricket that had him pinned and unable to safely exit his bedroom? More likely, would I find him pummeled and bloodied by a brother who finally snapped as a result of too many ping-pong losses?

Nope. He wanted to show me a video.

This is how Two bonds with me, so I will usually stand still for the required four minutes of viewing. I'm so happy I did! The video is worth watching for the marvelous engineering, but I was also struck by the lyrics.

I've been waiting for months, waiting for years,
waiting for you to change./
Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber,
than pinning your hopes on a change in another./
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?/
Needing is one thing, and getting, getting's another.

So I been sitting around, wasting my time,
wondering what you been doing./
Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving
sitting here picturing someone else living./
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting, getting's another.

I've been hoping for months, hoping for years,
hoping I might forget./
Aw, but it don't get much dumber, it don't get much dumber
than trying to forget a girl when you love her./
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?/
Needing is one thing, and getting, getting's another.

When? When? Why not now? Why not me? Why not me?

One of the things I learned early on in Narcotics Anonymous is that I can only change myself. That doesn't mean I can't share my feelings, or tell someone they've hurt me. But I shouldn't do that if my only motivation is to get them to change; most likely they will not. I need to express myself because it will release me from the chains that bind me--anger, resentment, bitterness.

If you can fully embrace this idea, it eliminates a lot of frustration. Of course, it's really difficult to do on a regular basis, and especially with the people we know best, like family. But the alternative is sitting around, wasting time, picturing someone else living.

I've been trying to actively visualize what I want, so I can accomplish my goals. It's easy to get distracted. Needing is one thing, but getting--getting's another.

What do you need, to help you get what you want?