I opened the email on my smartphone the other day, and there was a message from my friend Deborah, a.k.a. Witchy Betty. She told me the Bettyverse was worried, because no one had heard from me in over a week.
I was shocked. And touched. I felt very Sally Field-ish, knowing that people like me, they really like me, enough to notice my absence. So, in a nutshell, this was my week:
Last Saturday, we had soccer, and threw a birthday party for Five at a cool gym with giant inflatables. Later in the day, Mom moved in for a week-long visit, while Pappou was traveling.
Tuesday the kids had a minimum day, just to torture me, and we had Back to School night at Four's school. I'm a little nervous about the amount of work he's being asked to complete, mostly because I think homework breeds school hatred.
Wednesday, took Mom for a haircut, then went to see my doctor about my extreme exhaustion, heart fluttering, and general aches and pains. Silently threatened her life when she uttered the word "perimenopause," then gave a few vials of blood to rule out Lyme disease, thyroiditis, and arthritis. Called to make a date with the podiatrist about my self-diagnosed plantar fascitis. You know, the reason I can't go on the treadmill.
Thursday, took Three to the orthodontist, so they could tell me his teeth had moved. Because he hadn't worn his retainer. They offered to take new impressions and cast new retainers, all for the bargain price of $550. We went home, and I told Three to shove those suckers back in his mouth, no matter how much it hurt.
Went to One's Back to School night. He is a "Fifth Year Senior," which gives him an opportunity to navigate school on his own, sans a personal aide, for the first time ever. He's taking really cool electives, in mainstream classes, in preparation for attending county college next year.
Friday, Mom woke up in pain, unable to move her shoulder or neck. We made an appointment with the chiropractor for 12:15. I went to school at 9:30 to collect Three for his sit-down with the pediatrician, to investigate the knee pain he'd had since Saturday's soccer game. We can now go see an orthopedist if we choose. I gave him more ibuprofen. Left the chiropractor with Mom at 2:00, in time to go get children at rainy bus stops, and deposit them at home.
Raced to pick up rental linens for father-in-law's surprise 70th birthday party. Drove to charming lake community club house to set up, walked into teen dance party. Drove to Costco instead to get the hors d'oeuvres, a case of bottled Coke from Mexico, and flowers.
Saturday, loaded the van with supplies, and met with the oil company rep about installing a new boiler. Realized She-Who-Cannot-Be-Trained (Cobie), was not in the house or the yard. Sent the Captain and assorted boys to look for her. Went to charming lake community club house again, met sister-in-law. Moved a lot of chairs and tables, draped them with the rental linens, and decorated them with old 45's and Gerbera daisies in the Coke bottle vases.
Got a call from the Captain, informing me Cobie had been impounded for the weekend by our town Animal Control officer. Yes, the girl dog is unregistered. Hell, I never registered Leo, and we've had him for four years. I was busy. I forgot. On the upside, this development eliminated my need for a party-time dogsitter.
Went home to shower and change, then returned to community club with Two and his helpful girlfriend. Set up hors d'oeuvres, greeted guests, and yelled "Surprise!" to stunned F.I.L. Danced with Mother, Brother, Sons, and Husband. Had fun, cleaned up, passed out.
Sunday, Four gently woke me at 7:00. Managed to stay in bed until 7:40, despite his repetition of the phrase, "Come on, it's time to get up now." The poor Captain awoke with a migraine, and Five crankily rose an hour later. Spent much time soothing him, and eating carbs. Felt like I'd been run over by a truck. Took Five to Toys 'r Us to buy Legos with his birthday money. Drove to Mom's apartment to help her find her cell phone, before loading her up to come spend another five days with us. Bonus! Yelled at teenagers to finish the god-blessed homework that I didn't know about until 5:00 on Sunday.
Ate Sunday dinner. Hopefully expressed the proper amount of love to Janet, who helped Three create a chart on the computer, and then pulled all the remaining chicken off the carcasses, so we can make pot pie tomorrow. Put little people to bed, then actually watched television! Yelled at teenagers to go to sleep. Kissed the still-suffering Captain goodnight.
Wrote this post, even though I'm certain I've already published some other boring version of it half a dozen times. Will now go empty and load the dishwasher for the third time today.
I missed you guys.