17 May 2011

We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Program

And so the pendulum swings.

Yesterday we were so proud of Three, and tonight he barely escaped with this life. His grades are sucky, he freaked out about some assignment, and then he didn't have the common sense (well, he never does) to get his ass in bed on time.

Today I found out from Master Cho that Four told nice, young Master Corey to shut up the other day. Then we had a long chat about Four, because the Master didn't know he's on the autism spectrum. Four's behavior earned him a stern talking-to from Master Cho, and there will be another tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, because some days the carrot works on Four, and other days the stick is more effective. But if you try the wrong one on the wrong day, it completely backfires.  I hope it goes well, because Four and Five are taking their orange belt test on Wednesday, and I would like them to succeed.

Two gave me completely screwed up information about some meeting I was supposed to attend tonight, after I sent his father to get him at the high school. I went to the meeting, after yelling at him on the phone, because we had reviewed this information three times today. His brain is mind-blowingly vacant some days. Fucking arrggghh.

The God-blessed dogs have yet to work out their relationship, and the lovely Cobie messed on my carpet twice. I know we're in transition, but she can't annoy Leo AND shit in my house. Cute only gets you so far.

Our dryer has decided to join our other recently deceased appliances, and the estimate on my new furnace boiler has increased four hundred dollars since I met with the salesperson in November. Seriously?

I stopped by Home Depot to price out bathroom vanities. The boys' bathroom is currently held together by duct tape and prayer, so that was our designated spring project. Then everything else collapsed around us, so we're a little nauseous. The space for the vanity is irregular, so I found out I need something custom made. Naturally.

I'm going to go have sex with my husband. It's free, it's fun, and we'll be alone.

Then I'll tell him the price of the vanity.


  1. Anonymous17.5.11

    Aaaaaand you are taking care of the important things, in order. Tomorrow, new day, new shit... or hopefully, not any new shit, literally.
    I'm already there in spirit. Wish I could be there in person.

  2. It's free except for the times that produced sons 1 through 5. Those sexatudes were expensive! Good luck tomorrow, Colonel.

  3. Laughing, first at your story, then at London Mabel's comment. Hope today is a better day, but maybe the captain doesn't? LOL

  4. Here's hoping for a dryer renaissance (we had one once...thought it was dead and it revived).

    Also bravo on not beating the child who boneheadedly gave you wrong meeting info.

    Did your tummy test go okay? I probably missed something along the way...how ru?

  5. I hope all went well with Four's "discussion" with Master Cho. I keep thinking of Grasshopper, although that was karate, not Taekwondo.

    Sorry to hear about the dryer. I hate when things break. It sends me into a tizzy.

  6. Oh dear lord, that's one huge day full of suck. I hope today is better. And I hope Julie's spirit showed up after the sex part.

  7. @Delia: I checked the time stamp, and it looks like I was asleep when Julie checked in! Thank goodness-that would have been disconcerting.

    @Lora: I've got the defibrillator out now- its pulse is weak and thready, but I think it may hang in one more day! I'm fine, but still no answers.

    @London Mabel: Yes, those kids are a drain on my wallet, and mental health! But we learned our lesson, and can almost guarantee that there will be no Boy Six. And if there is, my husband will either divorce me for infidelity, or sue his doctor.

    @Julie: I am sure the Captain will be flattered that you wished you could be here in person. But he's a one-woman kind of guy. ;)

  8. It's probably best that you and Sarah are miles and miles apart. She's had a week that should sound familiar to you. If you two were close enough to get in the same car, we might never see you again. And, THAT would be a tragedy of gargantuan proportions.

  9. Anonymous17.5.11

    'she can't annoy Leo AND shit in my house. Cute only gets you so far' This made me laugh.
    Hope today was better for you

  10. @Carrie: I visited her blog today, and I could DEFINITELY relate. Perhaps I will send her a Starbucks gift card, since we can't actually get together for a drink. Or do you suggest a case of wine?

  11. Anonymous18.5.11

    LOL! Both of you, Delia and Megan, not at ALL what I meant dammit! Deargawd, I have enough of a time dealing with the single you-know-what at my own house... why the hell would I ... never mind. I won't make jokes about coming to visit ever again, it gets me into too much trouble.

  12. @Julie: Don't give up on the dream of visiting! The Captain didn't mean it- he knows Daniel carries a gun.


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