18 May 2011

My Coy Innards

Before I had my procedure last week, my Aunt asked if I would post the results on the blog. I told her I wasn't sure, because, really, how intimate do we want to be, folks? But since last night's sexual intentions alert, I feel like we've gotten closer. I would have shared last week, but Blogger broke on Friday, and then the weekend came, and I forgot about it. Some of you have been kind enough to ask how I'm doing, so here are the deets.

My upper endoscopy was scheduled for 10:30 on Thursday morning. The Captain took the day off to accompany me, and Erin stayed home with the dogs. The surgical center is brand new, quite lovely, and feng-shui correct. There was a beautiful water feature behind the reception area, and all the furnishings were patterned in subtle greens and wood tones. The nurses, however, all wore blue. It was jarring. I may comment on that in my customer service survey.

Despite their clashing uniforms, the nurses were terrific. There were many of them, and they instantly endeared themselves to me by offering heated blankets. The facility was very cold, and soon I was buried under three blankets. Then they inserted an I.V. and pumped cold fluid through my veins. I asked for another blanket, because they were losing their coziness as I waited for my doctor. He was on-call at the hospital, and had not yet arrived.

I could feel my blood pressure rising, not because I was nervous, but because I'm busy. I get that he's a doctor, off saving people's gastro-intestinal systems, but my time is valuable, too. And I'd sent Five to school that day, knowing he didn't feel well, so I worried that the school nurse would call while I was under anesthesia. And what great stuff that was! Fast-acting and effective.

When I awoke, a new nurse brought me ginger ale and Lorna Doone cookies. We talked discharge instructions, I got dressed, and then I waited in a recliner for my doctor. Frankly, I waited too long, but that could be my pesky sense of self-importance talking. Finally, he arrived to tell me the results, and here is where the facility fails. He spoke to me in front of other patients. Really? There's no private office in all of those swanky digs? That's definitely going in the survey.

So, thanks for following this fashion-conscious, mildly disparaging, commentary all the way to here, just to find out that the endoscopy didn't reveal anything out of the ordinary. We're waiting on biopsy results to find out if there is H. Pylori present, which could indicate an ulcer, but they didn't see one. They also took samples to test for celiac disease, but my symptoms are not indicative of that. So...I will now schedule another test, which will determine if my gallbladder is failing. And then they can yank that sucker.

When I know those results, I promise to write a one-line post, to reward you for sitting through this one.


  1. I can tell you that the facility you described is on the opposite end of the spectrum from the facility my mom had her procedure done a 2 weeks ago.Talk about lack of patient privacy! It reminded me more of pre-war surgical room photos I've seen. At one point there were 6 people in the "staging" room, waiting in their beds to be wheeled in for their turn. And the room was not big-- if they could have fit another in, I'm sure they would have. No dignity at all. So I'm glad that at least you had the spa-like cushy experience for your invasive procedure ;) Hope you get your answers soon. xoxo

  2. Oy. It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? I'd definitely mention the blue. Pinks go better with pale greens. Don't they have a color wheel?

    Here's hoping it's your gall bladder, because that's an easy fix.

  3. Having recently gone through the gall bladder issue, I concur with Delia. I was out for a week and, basically, half-time for the second week. And your boys are old enough that they don't require lifting and hoisting, so bonus! (I had to check with my MD to make sure it was okay for me to cart my youngest niece around piggy-back.) ;)

  4. Anonymous18.5.11

    I would definitely mention the blue, patients are in enough pain as it is, they shouldn't have to deal with the pain of clashing colours as well.
    Hope the next tests are more successful.

  5. Oh please be sure before you let them yank your gallbladder! Where I come from, if you're little and sick, it's ear tubes automatically. Once you hit sixteen, they'll take the gallbladder. Those are pretty much your choices. If they've already removed said organ, then they're stumped.

  6. @Delia and Kris: I am going to include a swatch for appropriate scrubs with my survey.

    @Carrie: Thanks for the heads up. Two weeks, huh? I don't know if I have that kind of time!

    @Lora: I'm a little scared for you and the bambina. But rest assured for me-the reason I have to do all these tests is because no surgeon will yank it without conclusive evidence. I don't think they're overly ethical; it's more that insurance won't pay for it otherwise. So, onward.


Thanks for reading! Unlike other Diaries, this one isn't private. Feel free to share your thoughts. Politely, of course.