My mother called this morning, sounding slightly panicked, and asked if I was okay.
"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"
"Well, there was no blog this morning, so I got worried."
It's nice to know I've become so reliable that my absence provokes worry. There's nothing further wrong with me; I just haven't had the late night energy to post at my usual time.
I am recovering ever so slowly from my as yet undiagnosed malady. But what's really kicking my ass is the fact that I have had no caffeine since last Friday. Those of you who know me personally will understand the magnitude of that statement. I love me some coffee. Especially the Fairway Supreme Blend that June brings me, or the Tip of the Andes that Janet gets at her local coffee shop. I drink coffee when I read all the blogs in the morning, and when I post late at night. Not to mention the late afternoon, for that extra boost of energy needed to wrestle children to the table to finish their homework. I have a sign in my kitchen that says, " Give me the coffee, and no one gets hurt."
I started drinking coffee when I got clean. Twenty-three years ago, one could still smoke cigarettes in rehab, and the only beverage at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting was brewed in a giant urn. Because I was desperately missing the feel of a drink in my hand, I took the joe. And added pounds of sugar and cream. Addicts are nothing if not adaptable.
I've had to lay off my sweet, muddy elixir a few times over the years, most often during pregnancy, when I was too nauseous to enjoy it. However, I found that once the darling parasite was out of my womb, the desire for coffee returned. And trust me, when you've already got a passle of kids, and a new one keeping you awake at night, coffee is what keeps the pack alive. I would drink a whole cup before going to sleep, so that when Boy Three, Four, or Five woke me in the middle of the night, my synapses would be ready to fire. Without the java, the lads would have perished.
I think the worst of the withdrawal is over. I didn't wake with a massive headache this morning. I've been bitchy, but I think that can also be attributed to the fact that I've been in pain. Currently, I am not jonesing for a fix. I am worried, though, that when I go see the specialist, he will tell me to lay off the perk for good. And I'm not certain I can comply. I think the benefits of imbibing outweigh the risks. Recently, coffee consumption has been shown to reduce the risk of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, as well as gall stones and gout. It fights cancer-causing free radicals, and increases cognitive ability! Who cares if it irritates the hell out of stomach? Can't you just take a pill for that?
Once an addict, always an addict.
I must now dash-okay, move ever so slowly-to complete three days work in twenty-four hours. I am leaving for the conference tomorrow, come hell, or hiatal hernia!
I miss my inky goodness.