The weekend was different than I planned. Disjointed. Well, that's not accurate. Disappointing? Not exactly, either. Disconnected, perhaps.
The only real plan I had was to attend a Beefsteak/Cabaret dinner on Saturday night. It was a fundraiser for Two's Chorale. The Captain, his parents, and our dear friends, the Tech Grrlz, had reserved seats. The In-Laws had to cancel, because their grandson was playing in his first hockey tournament. It's hard to resist five year-olds on ice, in giant pants and helmets. Then, the Captain and Three's Championship Team pizza party got moved to Saturday night, so he was going to have to leave me at the fundraiser for awhile to go toast the boys.
We were trying to piece it all together, but on Friday, the Grrlz received very upsetting news about the medical condition of one of their friends. She is a young woman with small children, who has already endured, and recovered from a life-threatening illness. I think I have only met their friend twice, but I feel like I know her from a lifetime of conversations I've had with the Grrlz. It is just daunting, and depressing, to think she may have to fight again. I knew they would want to spend time with her, so we cancelled our plans for the fundraiser.
It worked out logistically, because it meant we could go to the pizza party. It was important to the Captain to see the team one last time. Then he and I went for some dessert at the diner, to take advantage of the fact that we had a babysitter. Except the phone kept ringing, because Two was our babysitter, and Four and Five wouldn't go to bed for him. So, we went home, put kids to bed, and watched a movie on the couch, instead of at the theatre.
Sunday, I ran all day long. I dropped Five at CCD, and went to Walmart and Home Depot. I picked him up, unloaded Walmart, and brought Three back for his CCD, during which time I went to Costco. I went home, unloaded Costco, and picked up Two to bring him to confirmation class. Then I did Target, the grocery store, and the pharmacy. The Grrlz came by for dinner, which was great, but they looked as exhausted as I felt. I think the news about their friend added to a general melancholia I've been battling.
The Captain had a hockey game tonight, so we ate an early dinner before he flew out the door. I haven't really spent much time with him lately, and I think that's why I feel so adrift. It wasn't the crazy, ever-shifting Saturday that had me so out-of-sorts. It's that I've been untethered from my anchors. I enjoy my time alone, but when I am gone too long from the family-physically or mentally-I suffer for it. I like to say they're going to be the death of me, but in reality, they are my lifebuoys.
Please keep a good thought for the Grrlz' friend. She doesn't know us, but maybe we can be her buoys, too.