We went out to dinner with family and friends to celebrate the Captain's birthday. It was a lovely meal, start to finish, but I was tired when I got home. I'd spent the early part of the evening having a minor freak-out session concerning Two's research paper, and it left me depleted. I wasn't even really upset with Two, other than the usual "what do you mean you don't remember how she explained it?" Because I couldn't understand the requirements, either.
We enlisted the smarter brains among us to try and figure it out, and ended up with a reasonable thesis that I emailed to the teacher, to see if we were on the right track. She was kind enough to answer me at 6:35 on a Sunday morning, so I let go of some of my resentment toward her. We are now on pace to complete it correctly. And by "we," I truly mean Two and I. We're doing it together, because his skills are lacking, and I don't want the kid to fail anymore. After this paper, at least he'll have an inkling, and can go out on his own.
I understand I've failed thus far in making my boys independent. I don't know if it stems from having done so much for One, because of his physical and cognitive challenges, but I've been a straight-up careGIVER for all the rest of them as well. It's left them with the lifeskills of mewling, newborn moles. I know I have to stop doing everything for them, but it's hard when it's faster that way.
We left the teenagers in charge of the little people while we were at dinner. For reasons unknown, Four and Five go to bed without histrionics when Two is calling the shots. Perhaps he threatens bodily harm. I don't want to question it, because he's my babysitter-in-residence. I need him.
So, as mentioned, I was tired when I got home from the restaurant, and basically went straight to sleep. The next morning I went to check on Two and Three, to make sure they were actually in their beds. It's not that I anticipate them climbing out their bedroom window to sneak away with friends. It's more likely that I'll find Three asleep in front of a television, wasting my electricity.
I opened the door and found Three asleep on top of his comforter, with a throw blanket keeping him warm. I didn't understand why, until I looked over at Two, who was under his comforter, asleep on his mattress cover. I had stripped the beds, and hadn't replaced the sheets. And rather than get a new set, they had each chosen to sleep on the unmade beds. Many hours later, I woke Two and asked him why he didn't make his bed.
"It was late, and I like the way this feels," he answered, rubbing the mattress cover.
"That's nice," I answered sarcastically, "but you can save the passed-out-on-the-unmade-bed-motif for college. If you make it there."
I need to get busy with some home-schooling. Because if this is an example of their ability to reason, we're all screwed.