15 February 2011

You Knew Me When

We share our house with  my in-laws. We made the decision to live together about five years ago, and considered building an addition onto our previous home. But instead we moved, to a house that was already set up as a mother/daughter. Or, in our case, a mother/son.

The Captain's parents are young, they both still work, and are active outside the home. But we do all get together on Sunday night for family dinner. It's the only day of the week we guarantee a home-cooked meal, and the rare opportunity to visit with all the children.

This past Sunday, after dessert and clean-up, Two sat at the table and did his homework while I did some on-line ordering for my father-in-law. He is a weight lifter, and needed some specific apparel for his next meet. We tooled around some sites, and found the correct items. The clothing is built to spec, so body measurements were needed. I told him I drew the line at measuring his glutes. The mother-in-law was called in for the job.

FIL : "Let's go. Measure right here."
MIL : "Really? That's where your glutes are? Because when I measure my ass, I measure down here."
FIL : "Right here. And now we have to do my quads. Come with me, because I have to take off my pants."
MIL : "Really? We have to go in that bathroom? You can't just measure over your pants? Make the tape measure really tight."
FIL : "Now my flexed arm. Measure right here, where it's flexed."
MIL : "I cannot see these numbers. Megan, what number is that? I think I'm using the wrong side, with the smaller numbers. All this for a shirt?"

At this point, Two stopped working and said, "I can't wait to be married, so I can have conversations like that." I thought it very sweet, for a variety of reasons.

My parents divorced when I was thirteen, and at that time, they had remained married longer than the parents of most of my friends. A large percentage of the boys' friends have divorced parents. So, it is a remarkable thing, these days, to witness the daily life of a couple who have been married for 47 years.

They've known one another almost all their lives, and got married when my mother-in-law was 21. They have known ME since I was just out of my teens, and arrived at their house wearing pounds of rosary beads draped beneath my purple hair. When asked why she married at such a young age, my mother-in-law says, "We just wanted to be together. We couldn't wait any longer."

Today, we all tend to wait a little longer. That first wave of love, and the all-consuming need to be together, eventually ebbs, and we realize that what's left in its wake isn't enough to sustain us for a lifetime. Two will experience this soon enough. But he has the rare opportunity to witness honest and enduring love every day. Hopefully this will be the lighthouse that saves him from the inevitable wreckage of young love, and sets him on his own course, filled with family, food, and funny conversations.

Today, in honor of both new, and knowing, love...

I Love You

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I love your lips when they’re wet with wine
    And red with a wild desire;
I love your eyes when the lovelight lies
    Lit with a passionate fire.
I love your arms when the warm white flesh
    Touches mine in a fond embrace;
I love your hair when the strands enmesh
    Your kisses against my face.

Not for me the cold, calm kiss
    Of a virgin’s bloodless love;
Not for me the saint’s white bliss,
    Nor the heart of a spotless dove.
But give me the love that so freely gives
    And laughs at the whole world’s blame,
With your body so young and warm in my arms,
    It sets my poor heart aflame.

So kiss me sweet with your warm wet mouth,
    Still fragrant with ruby wine,
And say with a fervor born of the South
    That your body and soul are mine.
Clasp me close in your warm young arms,
    While the pale stars shine above,
And we’ll live our whole young lives away
    In the joys of a living love.


  1. Anonymous15.2.11

    Here's my test Megan, pretend I said all kinds of witty and entertaining things (which you know I did in that other comment that got eaten).

  2. @Julie: Thanks for trying again! I will reference previous comments to access your wittiness and charm!

  3. 1. Two has inherited the true family wit.
    2. While I find the MIL/FIL conversation funny in an endearing sort of way, I know it would make my hubby's head explode. And it's probably because it is so similar to my insane extended family. Which is likely why I can find it funny and he is so freaked out by it. He has shared his gene pool with these people and this lurks in his kids somewhere...
    God bless you xoxo

  4. LOL I love those conversations. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my in-laws. When I lived with them (in my youth), my MIL's response was to drink heavily. Yours sound awesome. You're very lucky.

    Beautiful poem, too. (And a little steamy. Nice.)

  5. @Delia: Don't get me wrong; theoretically, (because there can be no other kind for me)drinking might help when one lives with such a large family. But mostly, it's just funny.

    I like that the poem was written sometime in the late 1800's. Steaminess is timeless.

  6. I am smiling as I imagine this conversation. It's lovely to think of two people who have been together for so long and through so much. I can just hear this conversation when they hit the 70 year anniversary. ;)

  7. That made me smile. Thank you!

  8. I'm smiling because:

    1. It's an adorable, charming story.
    2. It's not me having to live with my in-laws who are considerably less endearing in their behaviors than those about whom you wrote.

  9. XVII (by pablo neruda)

    I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
    or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
    I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
    in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

    I love you as the plant that never blooms
    but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
    thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
    risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

    I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
    I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
    so I love you because I know no other way

    than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
    so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
    so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

    Translated by Stephen Tapscott

  10. @lora: ooo, pablo neruda! If I didn't know that the Captain reads the comments, I would hi-jack this and give it to him. Sometimes the kids will ask how we ended up together, and I can't explain it. Because we're not even sure why. This is a good answer.

  11. Lora - that Neruda poem is just. . . *sigh*. Wow.

    Megan - what a sweet post! Perfect pair of valentines to choose for your 2/15 post!

  12. Megan:
    1. I laughed out loud reading the FIL-MIL discussion. Probably because I can hear MIL squawking, "Really . . . ." Make sure they're around when we see you in April.
    2. I thought your hair was blue back then. Pretty sure it was blue when we met you "down the shore." It was very impresssive, as is any kind of hair to me these days.
    3. $100 if you post the content of the letter that your brother read out loud at your wedding. It's perfectly appropriate in a Valentiney kind of way and would really show the depth of your love.

  13. @ Maccabee: OMG I remember that letter-- well only vague parts of it-- which is really impressive for me. Yeah, a letter encore would be amusing!

  14. The parts that I remember about it are as follows...
    "He listens to classic rock"
    "he is like someone I would have dated in high school"
    "I think he just wants to sleep with me"
    The looks on the faces of everyone at the reception as I read it were awesome. I couldn't believe it when Brice told me the story after the rehearsal dinner about how he had asked the captian why he was dating you, and how the captian told him to relax, " it's not like I'm going to marry her"


Thanks for reading! Unlike other Diaries, this one isn't private. Feel free to share your thoughts. Politely, of course.