02 February 2011

My Mantra, My Mantra

Today I spent an inordinate amount of time on-line, most of it reading a conversation between some fantastic women about shame, worthiness, love, and vulnerability. If you want to see what we were talking about, I think this link will work. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html And if  you're curious about the fabulously wordy women, you should visit  http://lucymarch.com/.

I felt pretty good about myself when I was done watching, because I've done some courageous things in my life, survived some challenges, and my life view is still: It will all be okay.  This is my mantra. It's not particulary profound, but it's reality based, so most times I make it even more casual, and use the conjunction for ease of use. It'll all be okay. Don't you like the way the "ells" roll off the tongue?
It'll all be okay.
It'll all be okay.

The simplicity of my mantra helps me cut through the disorientating effect of anger/ grief/ depression/ anxiety, so I don't get lost in the maelstrom. I know me; I know what I'm capable of (good and bad), and I know that in the end, it'll all be okay. I know this to be true, because my father died when I was nineteen, I pushed away everyone who loved me and became a drug addict, my first baby had a pre-natal stroke, my fourth is autistic, my house flooded and we had to live in a hotel, my mother is battling a fatal disease, and yet...I'm okay. I'm here. I'm fighting. I'm loved. I love.

The mantra hasn't always been with me, guiding me through the pain. The mantra was born of the pain, and the recognition that I surmounted it. Sometimes, when life looks bleak, I remember I've been here before, and  it'll all be okay. We all struggle, but I hope you recognize all that you've accomplished, and can call on your inner strength when you need it.

13 comments:

  1. Wow. Megan, you're one hell of a writer. This post made me smile, then made me want to cry, then made me want to straighten my shoulders and stand high. Your honesty and bravery just shine through, and I really needed to read those words tonight, so thanks. And keep the posts coming.

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  2. bonafide, your name is your badge of courage! You are the real deal. Stand tall and believe in yourself!

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  3. Megan, I have been telling Andrew those same words for years, after realizing myself that that's how I look at life. And the daily balance we strive to keep: courage, proactive planning [both daily schedule and financial], trying not to panic vs inner peace, etc. Leading a family when we often feel like we're ill-equipped to do that. YIKES! But it'll be okay... You're doing great, btw.

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  4. You are made of awesome. What BFB said. I also want to high five you but that might not seem dignified :)

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  5. If you get a few minutes (okay 20-but they fly by!) check out the video. It's encouraging.

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  6. lora-I'll see your high five, and raise you a chest bump. We're not dignified here at Casa de Penii.

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  7. I loved that video! It's tough advice to take, at least it is for me. I'm more like the pre-spiritual awakening Brene Brown than the one giving the speech. But it's a wonderful message.

    And so is yours! I'll try to apply "it'll all be okay" to more areas of my life. I'm pretty good when it comes to things that I believe I can't control. It's the other stuff that makes me crazy! ;-)

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  8. Janet: I often use the mantra right after I say, "You know, the world would be a better place if everyone just did what I told them to do." I like me some control, too. I just rarely get it.

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  9. Megan, you are truly made of awesome. There's nothing else I can add.

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  10. Thanks everyone! I think if we all made a laundry list of our trials and tribulations, we'd see our universal awesomeness. Or, a plot line for an epic, tragic novel. With a happy ending.

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  11. Well done, today and so much more.
    I am lovin' your new blog. How did we all live before you started to write on line?
    Julie

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  12. I'm late to the party as usual and I just wanted to say 'what everyone else said' you're definitely made of awesome and you're a fabulous story teller/writer.

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  13. @curiousmisskris:if you are one of the first ten followers, I don't think you can be considered even fashionably late! Certainly not by my standards. Welcome-it's nice to have a new voice join the discussion.

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