18 October 2013

Following Me, Following You

Some fun and interesting things happened in the past week.

I met Karen B for lunch.

I finaled in two writing contests.

I dug rubber bands out of Five's ear canal.

Two of those three things are social media related.

I met Karen through a blog written by Lucy March, who is the alter-ego of Lani Diane Rich. Lucy spent a year posting about her life after divorce and a whole lot of creative, funny, kind, smart women followed along. That community became known as The Betties. I was Five Boy Betty, the precursor to The Lone Woman.

Have I lost you yet? Hang in there, it gets better.

Other notable women of the Bettyverse included Julie, Delia, Lora, Kate, Deborah, Skye, Robena, ...really, almost everyone who comments on this blog because they followed me from there. And I followed them to their blogs, onto Facebook, and now Twitter. With each passing mile on the social media highway I've met new people, formed new friendships, and deepened others.

My mother used to complain that the boys always had their noses in their phones, clicking away instead of socializing. She worried that technology was isolating. I told her it was simply evolution. When I was a teenager, I could get on the kitchen phone--so named because it was attached to the kitchen wall--conference call two friends, then drag the cord all the way to the bottom of the cellar steps to sit and talk for hours.

To me, the Internet is just one giant party-line, and for my children who struggle socially, it's often their only invitation to the shindig. One has friends he talks to every day on Twitter. He has never had that in "real" life. When I explained that to my mom, it eased her mind.

One may never meet his internet friends in person, just as I will never meet all the Betties. But I have spent time with some, shared hotel rooms with others, and even gone to a Yankee game with Kris when she was visiting from Australia! But the beauty of social media is that the lack of physical contact doesn't diminish the power of the relationship. Friendships ebb and flow as people enter and exit the highway, but the world doesn't narrow, it expands.

This week I met a whole slew of ranchers and farmers on Twitter. I stumbled across a story about a blizzard that devastated South Dakota ranchers, killing upwards of 70,000 cattle and sheep, ruining countless lives. I had heard no mention of the storm in the mainstream media, unlike the intense coverage New Jersey received after Hurricane Sandy. I wanted to help the ranchers in the same way so many people across the nation had done for us, so I started tweeting about it. Each day I met more ranchers, bloggers, and writers, from Oregon, to Santa Fe, and even New York. And though I may never stand on their land, my life is better from knowing them.

I started writing because I read a Jennifer Crusie novel and wanted to do that. I've continued writing because all of you have encouraged me, held my hand when I've struggled, offered love during my darkest moments, propped me up when I've fallen. For that, I am eternally grateful to this force that harnesses hope and kindness, spreads it around the world, and creates lasting friendships from the ether.



24 comments:

  1. You rock. Thanks for expressing so wonderfully the positive side of social media.

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    1. It's easy to be cynical. I live in New Jersey, where you can find a crooked politician on every corner, but I've witnessed the outpouring of support from the nation after Sandy. Friends of ours were in Hawaii last year, and they bought a t-shirt made by a surfing company to benefit the victims of the storm. Hawaii!

      I may be naïve, but I continue to believe in the forces of good!

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  2. We love you too, Megan. Remember you have also offered love, propped us up, given gifts. Because of you my family had a rocking Thanksgiving Parade experience complete with a NYC apartment. Your heart is as big as the internet.

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    1. I was so happy to do it! I wish all the Betties lived closer so we could help one another all the time :-)

      The last time I went to the parade, I was pregnant with Three--sixteen years ago! This year will mark the one year anniversary of my mother's death,so that's where we'll spend the day. Almost everything is made better by gigantic balloons!

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  3. I am very glad to have met you over the interwebz. I love your perspective on having a houseful of XY chromosomed-people, and I love the way you write. You are an amazing and kind and loving person and I'm glad the interwebz brought us together.

    One of my travel goals is to get to the NE and meet you and Karen B and Deb and as many of the others as I can manage (it may have to be a long trip, as I'll have to travel from NJ (at least) to Vermont (at least). :)

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    1. Thanks, Skye.

      Maybe we should plan a giant Betty retreat in the middle of the country every two years. Like a conference!

      Hmmm...my wheels are spinning.

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  4. I got to meet Karen earlier this year, and she's FAB! And of course, I loved sharing a hotel room with you in NYC at RWA. (You're a great roomie.)

    I can't imagine my life without the Betties, although I've only been lucky enough to meet a few in person. (Waves at Kate, and Elizabeth, and Mary Stella, and Delia, and Karen...am I leaving anyone out? besides our Alpha Betty, of course.)

    Best internet bunch evah.

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    1. Isn't it great when we meet? But even when we don't, it doesn't matter. I am always wishing the best for the Betties, and I know it's reciprocated, even when we don't "talk."

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  5. The Betties have enriched my life tremendously and I am grateful to have had the chance to meet some in real life - Bethany, Barb N., Julie, Kate, Deborah and, last, but not least, Megan. Although I certainly hope you aren't the last Betty I ever meet! At lunch I got to see pictures of One through Five as well as the Captain and they are all a good-looking bunch!

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    1. They are pretty good-looking! It's what's saved their hides, on more than one occasion--cute smiles and puppy eyes.

      I hope I get to meet Betties and other online friends for the rest of my life!

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  6. Anonymous18.10.13

    I'm one of the lurker Betties, but I've been visiting with you Betties since the beginning. The depth of your compassion and kindness towards one another is wonderful and meaningful. We might not visit or necessarily ever meet, but the internet has allowed this other form of getting to know one another, and although it's different from face-to-face meetings, it's still real. It's communication on another level.

    Susanne

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    1. Hi, Susanne! Thanks for de-lurking to chat with us!

      What I like best about the Betties is the core of goodness. (Sounds like a tasty candy bar!) The community began as a witness to an individual transformation, but evolved into a support resource for everyone. There's no agenda, other than helping one another however we can. It's awesome in its simplicity.

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  7. Anonymous18.10.13

    Oh, and way to go on finalling!!!

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    1. Thank you! And now, more revising...

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  8. Number one: hot damn you finales inTWO contests? Of course you did because you are All Kinds of Fabulous! Hip hip hooray for the Lone Woman who, by the way, is not lone but now flanked by Bettie's, some with tea and chocolate, others with shovels but all armed with love, light and occasionally bacon.
    I couldn't begin to say how the Bettie's have changed my life, changed my view of social media and changed me. Big shiny love.

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    1. I know, right?! I AM fabulous! I'm excited that industry professionals will now read the work. And then ask me for my full MS, of course. ;-)

      I remember when mom died, June asked if I wanted to let any Betties know. I think I gave her four or five names, because I felt like you were more intimately involved in my life than people I had known for thirty years. It's pretty amazing.

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  9. I was thinking this very thing today, and many times in the past. You meet a great class of people on the internets... at least in our neighborhood! :)

    "I finaled in two writing contests." YAYYYYY!!!!!

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    1. I think it's true that like-minded people tend to band together. What's interesting about the Betties is that I'm pretty sure we don't all share the same political views, but our energy is the same. We're all positively focused on loving and helping one another. It transcends the typical.

      I got the news about the contests on two consecutive Mondays. Each morning I'd been exhausted from trying to help Five get into school, and was really at the end of my rope. And then I got the news! It was just enough to boost me back up, so thanks, Universe/Mom!

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  10. It's true, we are totally awesome! And made even better by our association. Sending congrats and even more love.

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    1. We are beyond compare, and stronger from our bond.

      Thanks for the love, which I know flows constantly, ferried across the nation in the jet stream!

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  11. I thought I commented already but I must have dreamed it.
    Congrats on the final-ing.
    Clever Betty here, btw.

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    1. I'm happy you're dreaming of me! Am I taller and thinner in your dreams? I have mental pictures of all the Betties I haven't yet met; I wonder if they're at all accurate!

      Thanks for the congrats, CB!

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  12. WooWoot and cheers to you on double-finaling. Want to read the books!

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    1. Thanks, Thea! Can't wait for you to read them!

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Thanks for reading! Unlike other Diaries, this one isn't private. Feel free to share your thoughts. Politely, of course.