I almost started this post with "In the grand scheme of things, all is well." But I think the opposite is true. In the small particulars, all is well. The grand scheme seems a bit fucked up right now.
One started college today. Due to miscalculations, a sleepy child, and a dog who refused to stop peeing on every damn blade of grass, he was four minutes late to his first class. However, he made me feel better when he said at least ten people got there after him.
Despite his late registration, we managed to cobble together three classes for the semester, with a manageable schedule to boot! He has two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and one on Saturday morning. I drive him, and while he is learning I retreat to the library to work, which at this point means revise. He has about 90 minutes between his classes, so today we familiarized ourselves with the cafeteria, and where he could sit and work if he wanted. He seems most excited about the fact that his brothers will attend school every day while he only has a three day commitment each week. There will be hurdles along the way, but just for today, all is well.
Two had his (If I let these suckers grow in all the way, I still won't be old enough to have acquired any) wisdom teeth removed. He feels well enough today to have had an emotional discussion about my plans for the upcoming school year and how they affect him. We had a falling out this summer because he betrayed my trust in him, and I have explained that it will take an indeterminate amount of time for me to recover. But we're talking, and I'm trying to listen with an open mind and heart and not just issue edicts out of spite. Just for today, all is well.
My mother is still here with us. She suffered a significant decline while we were in Yellowstone, and will never fully recover her previous mobility. Pulmonary fibrosis sucks. I'm a little nauseous about the series of discussions I must now have with my stepfather about her care, because she needs more than he can provide down there in Florida. I anticipate resistance, and more conversation than I am able to muster the energy for at the moment. But just for today, she's here-on the planet and in our home-so all is well.
I have to admit that the stress is affecting me. I can feel my heart racing, and my brain won't stop trying to process the issues that are bothering me. It's making for some really boring dreams. The good news is that I'm losing weight, and by the end of the semester I'm going to have fantastic legs! The Captain reminded me to look for the silver lining, so just for today, all is well.
Now I'm going to bed so I can dream about driving around the college parking lot in an endless loop so I can make it home in time to put a fence up in my neighbor's yard before I fight with my stepfather. But I will be lying next to the Captain while I slumber, in a house bursting with people who I love. Just for today, all is well.