18 April 2012

My Legs Too Short to Box-Step With Gary

It's already the middle of the week! Time has flown by, my lovelies, without offering me a ride. The last two weeks have been a blur of commitments, and the next month promises to be the same. My heart is fluttering. Really. I have this flutter sensation that travels up into my throat every so often, and it takes my breath away. It's like I'm living in a romance novel! Except that I think the flutter is exacerbated by stress, not desire. Because, (she quickly clarified), the Captain is here to satisfy all my desires!

That said, here I am visiting my boyfriend, Gary Lightbody.



You can't really see Gary, which is kind of how it was for me, too. The Captain and I stood on the floor, which isn't the best place for the vertically challenged. I think concert venues should follow school rules, and line everyone up by height. Then Gary clearly would have recognized me as one of his most ardent over-40 fans (I would lose in the finals to the ladies who tipple, because drunk babes are a little looser, you know), and invited me onstage to sing with him. Which I would do in a heartbeat, a characteristic of mine the Captain finds fascinating, yet horrifying, similar to body piercing.

It took a day or two to recover from the concert because I am, as previously mentioned, over 40. And it's not like I have any down time. Life's a go-go, baby, and I'm just trying to shimmy fast enough that I don't lose my pole position. (How's that for a stripper/NASCAR mash-up? We aim for all demographics.)

In between the dancing, I'm trying to finish my manuscript before next weekend. My fingers are typing as fast as they can, when I'm not falling asleep at my keyboard. Wish me luck, people, because my back-up plan left for Canada without me.

Gary! Wait! I know all the lyrics!

23 comments:

  1. Wait. I want to live in a world where all the toast has cinnamon sugar, too!
    ;)
    Type, baby, type. We want to read that book.

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    1. (I want, I want. I'm clearly demanding today. Don't mind me.)

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    2. You fit right in. I choose to think of you as "encouraging." After all, I want to read that book, too!

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  2. You know, it's just not right that those dang back-up plans leave town in the middle of the night! If you feel any better, the manuscript I'm pimping isn't finished either. It was, and then I tore that sucker apart and started over! So If I'm asked for it I'll have to take a bunch of days off work to type!

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    1. He doesn't call, he doesn't write--I have to find out about his plans from twitter!

      Here's to hoping we're tasked with mad typing!

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  3. I was about to suggest crowd surfing up to the stage, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work in that direction. :)

    @ Carrie - You can include me in the we. We want to read that book!

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    1. I suppose I could have jumped off a balcony, and crows-surfed my way up. Filing that away for the next time...

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    2. And also changing "crows-surfed" to "CROWD-SURFED," although the former would have provided the crow's-eye view. Filing THAT away for next time...

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  4. You know, you're small enough that you could probably have stowed away in his luggage if you rubbed a little hustle on it. Get going on the clickety-clack, lady. I need to read. No pressure.

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    1. I'm only allowed to rub a little hustle on the Captain. But you're right--I could totally fit in an amp box!

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  5. Next time ask the captain to put you on his shoulders so you can get a good look at your boyfriend. Well, maybe word the request a little different. Although, he'd probably see through any wording and he might not cooperate, huh?
    Listen, this bootcamp thing I'm doing is really motivating me to get the words written. I was trying to figure a way to make it work after April without Savvy Authors. A Delia, Kate, Megan, Judy bootcamp. But what would the prize be or would there have to be a prize. Cause frankly I can not remember the bootcamp prize so maybe it's not important.

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    1. The Captain did, in fact, offer to put me on his shoulders. And when my back started to hurt from my bag, he offered to hold that, too. He either knows Gary wouldn't have me, or he's pretty confident I'm not going to leave.

      I think if you just share all the info you learned at boot camp, that's enough for me! Perhaps you would exchange knowledge for chocolate? Name your price.

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  6. Your hair is growing long too!

    I have nothing to add, as you are taller than I am. ;)

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    1. It was longer! I cut it about three weeks ago.

      Yes, we would not make a good concert combo. Even if I put you on my shoulders, you probably still wouldn't be taller than the folks that were standing in front of me!

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  7. Here's my proposition: The writer of the most words buys chocolate for the rest of us.

    My second Proposition: The writer of the least words buys chocolate for the others.

    My third: We draw straws and we each send chocolate to one of the other writers when we meet our goal. This could be ongoing...

    The real Proposition: I'll trade you DH's Megan. I'll take the Captain and you can have Count Olaf. You know, just for a change...

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    1. The chocolate thing sounds good. I have to write a different blogpost for tomorrow anyway as I don't really like the one I have scheduled, so maybe I can write a proposition.

      The husband swap - I'm thinking she won't go for it considering the man describes her as sexy. Who would trade that away?

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    2. I like the idea of chocolate criss-crossing the country. And you're right-I wouldn't swap. I just finished reading the first Lemony Snicket book to the little boys, and Count Olaf doesn't seem very nice.

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    3. That's an understatement! But you gave me a good chuckle. I figured you're so good with boys that you could reform Count Olaf and rename him. I'd suggest turning him into the rock but there are some physical impossibilities there...

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    4. whoops, I mean "The Rock". Although... no I'm in enough trouble I'm not taking this any further!

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    5. I could change him, Kate, but there would likely be beatings involved and I'm not too jazzed at the prospect of jail time. ;)

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    6. Oh, and also, chocolate does not criss-cross the country well during the summer.

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  8. I just read a review of the Write or Die app, and though I'm not working on a manuscript yet it sounded interesting and like something I would need for motivation if I were.

    Other than that, I have nothing to add except that I can't wait to read the book! Seriously.

    (Oh, and I think I might share some of Five's personality: Sean brought me a desert the other night (very thoughtful) that had pecans all over and in it. I believe my response was "After ten years you can't remember that I don't like nuts? Really?! Have we met?!" So, um, yeah. Get with it on the cinnamon and sugar.) :) You're Awesome!

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    1. The Captain commuted to New York for ten years before I found out he drinks coffee every morning. And yet, after twenty years together, I still have to ask how he takes his coffee. I think it's something confusing, like "regular."

      I am an endless source of exasperation for Five. And it's doubly annoying when I fail him first think in the morning.

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