I snuggled with Four and Five at bedtime. Two years ago, it was nearly impossible to get Four to go to sleep. He would toss, talk, burrow, and generally flail until sheer exhaustion finished him off. We were ready to lose our minds. Medication has helped, and now he falls asleep with relative ease.
There is nothing clinically wrong with Five. At least nothing that's been diagnosed. He does, however, suffer from what my grandparents would call "diarrhea of the mouth." He talks all day long. He tells rambling stories, and re-enacts funny television moments. He rants. He giggles. He talks until the moment he falls asleep. Here is a sample of tonight's bedtime conversation.
"Mom, you wouldn't want to be alive in ancient times, because of the giant ants. There were worker ants, and fighter ants, and the queen. The worker ants were this big...(he holds his fingers six inches apart), and the fighter ants were this big...(ten inches), and you don't even want to know how big the queen was!"
"Did you learn that in science class?"
"No, I learned it from One. He's a science whiz. You know what's nocturnal, and small, and back out at night now? I'll give you a hint. They buzz. Mosquitoes. Did you know that the male mosquitoes just bite, but the female ones suck the blood? I thought they all sucked the blood. Huh. The females lay the eggs, though, and then they spend some time swimming. We saw some at the grist mill. There was a huge trough, and we knocked it over, and the water poured out like a tsunami, and all the water bugs got washed away. Except for a big blue one."
"Go to sleep, Five."
"The girls didn't do it, though. Kelsey talks to Damon a lot. So, you know what I do? I tell Damon he should run. Because she's trying to get him. And when she gets older, she might catch him! You know what's funny? Yesterday, on 'Sponge-Bob', Patrick got a suntan, and Sponge-Bob asked him how he felt, and he said, 'I feel like a soda commercial.' And then, they showed this old guy with a soda can, and he said, 'Drink it!' (holds can up to mouth, puts can down, brings it back up), 'Drink it!' (repeats gesture), 'Drink it!' (repeats gesture). It's so funny when they put real people into the, you know, the animated show!"
"Go to sleep, Five."
"Why do you suppose bats are nocturnal?"
"Because that's when they hunt."
"Well, that doesn't make sense, because then all the carnivores would be nocturnal. And you don't see the foxes out at night. You know where they live? In the woods, near that little lake. That's where they have their den. And that lake is covered with a billion mosquitoes."
"Go. To. Sleep. Five."
"I would, but I hate my bed. It's so uncomfortable. And my pillow is always hot. I need that pillow that I saw on the commercial. It's always cold! You don't have to turn it over. Because even when I turn mine over, then that side gets hot. I need the pillow from the commercial."
"Five! Go to sleep!"
I think I need medication.