Five cannot keep his hands out of his pants. Whenever I see him these days, he has at least one hand on his penis, and a far-away look on his face. I think, at first, the blank expression was one of mindless joy, brought on by the fondling. Now, I'm a little concerned that the caressing has become so commonplace, he no longer recognizes when he's doing it. I used to ignore it, but now I feel compelled to stop it, for fear of receiving a phone call from the school about "inappropriate touching."
So I started a "hands off" campaign with discreet reminders. I would walk in the playroom, and whisper in Five's ear, "Hands out of your pants, honey." Now, I just yell "Five! Hands!" on my way down the hall. I'm not convinced either approach is effective. I can't get Five to stop touching the stuff that doesn't belong to him, so to forbid him access to that which is rightfully his own is a tough sell.
We've gone through this in some fashion with all the penii. The fascination with the johnson first becomes apparent when they realize they can make it bigger. I call this the "special skin phenomenon." As in, "Your penis has special skin that grows when you touch it, but you have to be GENTLE." Otherwise, they'll yank that pecker off in the name of science.
Later, the discussion evolves, as the boy grows and the penis does not keep pace. I have yet to be proven wrong that puberty will, in fact, arrive and all sorts of things will sprout.
Then we deal with erections. Three recently informed me that, on average, the teenage boy will have an erection every ninety minutes. I love middle school health class. They are even more blase than I about tackling uncomfortable subjects.
I keep talking and talking, even after they tell me to stop. Which happens with Two.
"Oh my God, Mom, I'm not having sex!" has been the refrain.
I tell him I'm happy about that, but someday he will, and I want him to be smart, and kind about that decision. Because it will involve more than just his body parts. I was a teenage girl once, and I know the emotional repercussions of taking that step.
Maybe I should re-think my strategy, and encourage solitary pleasure. Next time I pass Five, I'm not going to say a thing.